Week 350 (brendan@brendanbarca.com)

Here's your weekly dose of Fuel Your Mind Friday where I share business building ideas, lifestyle design hacks, and inspirational content to help you thrive in your work and find purpose in your life.

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PSA: My wife, Pema Sherpa, and I have another blog called The Mindful Minute! Check it out here.

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CONFLICT RESOLUTION: HOW TO SETTLE YOUR EMOTIONS

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I've now been in the working world for over 12 years. I've worked at large corporations, startups, and currently co-own a small business. I've hopped from one work environment to the next hoping to find my perfect work situation.

When I was in corporate, I thought to myself "If I could only join a startup then I'll have the perfect job." Then, when I got to the startup and realized that wasn't the case, I told myself "If I could only start my own business then I'll have the ideal job."

But, as I've learned, every job comes with its own unique set of challenges. There will be difficult decisions you have to make. There will be unwanted projects that land on your plate. And there will be colleagues or clients who you'd rather not deal with. This is true regardless of whether you work for someone else or whether you run your own shop.

Work comes with challenges. That's a fact. So, how do we handle these challenges as they arise? Sure, we can problem solve, hire someone, fire someone, or quit. We have the ability to do all of those things. But, those are just the actions we take.

The other (and I'd argue more helpful) question I've started to ask myself is, "how am I dealing with this challenge on an emotional level?" Am I letting it create anxiety, stress, anger, jealousy, or sadness in me?

If the answer is "Yes," which it too often is for me, then there's work that needs to be done. With 20-30 years left in my career, how can I afford to experience these negative emotions each time a new challenge pops up? I simply can't.

One technique I've started to adopt to smooth out the emotional roller coaster comes from a teaching in Buddhist philosophy. Buddhist philosophers encourage us to think of our mind as the ocean. It's vast and limitless. But within the ocean there are, of course, waves that come to the surface. These waves are our emotions. They rise and fall. They come and go.

So, whenever a challenge or conflict arises at work and causes a stir in my emotions, I try to acknowledge the wave (the emotion) but stay with the ocean (the limitless mind). This simple shift in perspective has helped me calm the sea overtime and let the emotions pass more easily.

If you find yourself experiencing negative emotions from challenges at work or home, maybe this technique will work for you.

The next time a challenge arises, remember to acknowledge the wave, but stay with the ocean.

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Until next week,

- Brendan

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​brendanbarca.com​

Don't miss our newest creation, The Mindful Minute -> ​Check it out here!