Week 417 (brendan@brendanbarca.com)

Here's your weekly dose of Fuel Your Mind Friday where I share business building ideas, lifestyle design hacks, and inspirational content to help you thrive in your work and find purpose in your life.

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WHY YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE (AND WHAT TO DO INSTEAD)

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​Ever since I was young, I've been a people pleaser.

Whether I was running track, partying in a fraternity, or part of a sales desk, I always strived to be likable.

I never wanted to ruffle any feathers. I didn't want to evoke any criticism.

And although it might sound admirable to try to win the approval of others, it isn't sustainable.

As you go through life, critics will emerge, no matter what path you take.

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Here's a Buddhist legend that helps to demonstrate this dilemma we all face:

A man and his wife were once going to the market with their donkey. They were each walking beside the donkey when a countryman passed and said, "You fools! What is a donkey for but to ride upon?" So the man lifted his wife up and put her on the donkey.

But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom shouted, "Look at that! The man is a slave to his wife! He walks while his wife sits on the donkey so comfortably!" So the man took his wife off the donkey and got on it himself while his wife walked alongside him.

But they only made it a little further down the road when a group of women came along. One woman scoffed, "Shame on that lazy husband for sitting on his donkey while his wife walks in the dirt!"

At this point, the man and his wife were unsure of what to do. But, at last, they decided that they better both ride on the donkey. So the man lifted up his wife so that she could join him on the donkey as they rode into the market.

However, of course, as they entered the market, one of the shopkeepers yelled at them, "You two should be ashamed for overloading that poor donkey of yours!"

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I share this story to demonstrate that there is no way to please everyone, no matter what decisions we make in life.

There will always be critics saying that we could have done things differently.

And in fact, by trying to please everyone, we actually please no one in the process.
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This is a story I wish I had heard years ago, for too much of my life has been spent trying to please others.

In recent years, I've learned that rather than try to please everyone, I need to first focus on finding my true path.

And it's within that path, good things happen and I meet the people who I can be of service too.

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The same may be true for you.

Rather than focusing on how to please everyone in your life.

Look for your own true path.

And then serve others who want to walk down it with you.

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- Brendan

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